Sim Soup Show

Day 1 : Wooden Cross of Metrification

	simulator One that simulates, especially an apparatus that generates test conditions approximating actual or operational conditions.

materialistic The theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and highest value in life.

NandP: It was nice of Nancy to let us use her place for awhile. I just wish she kept better care of the place.
Baptizer: Yea. Atleast shes not charging much for the place. 1,200 a month is a real bargin, so I hear.
NandP: Her sound system is in the kitchen too. An extra plus. Turn it on bap.
Baptizer: You see the power switch?
NandP: It's on the top, right there.
Baptizer: No thats the tuner wheel.
NandP: Not that one, the other one. On the right.
Baptizer: Oh I see it now.......You hear anything?
NandP: Broke?
Baptizer: Plug it in dickface.
NandP: Oh. i hope the corde is long enough.

Baptizer: Grab on brother. let me show you how its done.
NandP: Wooow, slow down bro. Ive got sneakers on.
Baptizer: Nancy wont give 2 shits about the floor.
NandP: It sure likes someone shit all over it.
Baptizer: Who ever chose that stain for a cover is insane.
NandP: Maybe tomorrow we can strip it down and redo it?
Baptizer: Are your crazy man? Let Nancy worry about that.
NandP: You don't want to do something nice for her?
Baptizer: I figure if we keep this place from burning.....
NandP: I guess your right.
Baptizer: You know I'm right.
NandP: Are you cold?

Baptizer: Why you ask?
NandP: Cause your all blue and shit.
Baptizer: WTH! How come you didnt say something before?
NandP: I thought I was dreaming.
Baptizer: Is that how you live your life in a dream?
NandP: Well sometimes im somewhere and then.....
Baptizer: Your not......So im blue huh?
NandP: And......
Baptizer: And what?
NandP: Ummmmm....your face.
Baptizer: Whats wrong with my face?

Baptizer: Don't just stare at me like that!
NandP: Ahhh...its sorta yellow and.....
Baptizer: Stop playing around and just spit it out!
NandP: I see your skull.....well the front of it anyway.
Baptizer: So, you see my skull and its yellow?
NandP: Yea, but it looks cool. Trust me.
Baptizer: Atleast I dont't have a huge head.
NandP: How the hell would you know that?
Baptizer: I can see it right inf ront of me dumbass.
NandP: Oh....I didnt know what you ment.
Baptizer: Just keep dancing.
NandP: I can't. I gotta take a break.
Baptizer: Don't be such a pussy and dance.
NandP: Im going to check out the TV. Hope its color.
Baptizer: Keep it down though.
NandP: Keep what down?
Baptizer: The volume. It'll mess up my rattle and hum.
NandP: Sure, Ill keep it down.
Baptizer: Thanks.

Baptizer: TURN IT DOWN BITCH!
NandP: Ok ok ok,,,damnnnn.
Baptizer: LOWER!
NandP: For christ sakes! We need a damn door there.
Baptizer: Just turn it down.
NandP: Ok.
Baptizer: ""Dancin on the ceiling, im dancin on the ceiling""
NandP: You say something?
Baptizer: ""Dancin on the ceiling with lando calri...""
NandP: Huh? Those arent the words.
Baptizer: Shut up, Like you know them.
NandP: Screw off.
Baptizer: Did you turn that back up?
NandP: NO!
Baptizer: YES YOU DID!
NandP: We need a TV guide.
Baptizer: Doesnt that box have digital cable?
NandP: No, just 2 to 13.


NandP: Atleast i wont have to remember all the stations. Baptizer: True, but were stuck with shitty ass sitcoms. NandP: We've got that wierd station with the colored blocks. Baptizer: The colored legos blocks? NandP: I guess. Wanna play that game with the station? Baptizer: I've gotta go deposit some gold first.

NandP: Check and see if we got a plunger.
Baptizer: "If we had a mirror in this place I could check out my face. NandP has me worried that my face is really yellow and looks like a skull. I really hope hes just fuckin with me about this whole thing. He was right about my skin being blue. Something Im very shocked at not noticing at first. Another thing is how did we just pop right there in the kitchen. it was like we had just awoken from some long sleep. The beginning of a life right there in the kitchen. I know little of my past. The only thing sticking in my memory is nancy renting out this place for us. i wonder if NandP is wondering the same things I am. I wont talk about it untill he brings up the subject though. He may think im loosing my mind if I go off the handle and start speaking foolishly of my own existance. How strange this is."
NandP: YOU OK IN THERE!
Baptizer: I F'IN FINE. WE NEED A DOOR AND SOME EXTRA WALLS FOR THIS BATHROOM. CAN'T SMELL MY SHIT?

	NandP: Sorry to tell you, but I cant smell anything. Baptizer: Sinuses? NandP: I guess so. Baptizer: Whats on? NandP: Some damn show. Baptizer: What show? NandP: Dallas, maybe. Baptizer: No porn? NandP: Dont got digital. Baptizer: What channel? NandP: Ummm...99.


Baptizer: Turn on 99. NandP: Hmmm its all fuzzy. I think i saw a titty though. Baptizer: Did it pause when you hit channel 99? NandP: Yea, alittle. Baptizer: Flick back and forth from 98 to 99, real fast. Anything?

NandP: I gave up. My wrist started hurting.
Baptizer: Im going to make something, hungry?
NandP: Hell yea. Im starving.
Baptizer: Im making boiled lettuce. Is that ok?
NandP: Sounds great!
Baptizer: I might have to get some make up for my skin.
NandP: Come to think of it. It looks more purple.
Baptizer: Purple now?
NandP: Hmmm...might be the lightning in the room.
Baptizer: I also noticed these strange clothing.
NandP: I saw a purple sword when we first came. Big too.
Baptizer: A sword?
NandP: It was a big ass purple sword.
Baptizer: You throw it out?
NandP: Not actually. I thought it spelled trouble so I threw it in the river down the road.
Baptizer: Maybe its for the best. Wish I couldaseen it.
NandP: It was heavy as all fuck though bro.
Baptizer: i guess thats why I have these purple muscles. For this purple sword you NICELY THREW IN THE DAMN RIVER!
NandP: There is no damn on the river. Its free flowing.

NandP: Good idea though.
Baptizer: About the damn?
NandP: Sure. Good idea.
Baptizer: Why are you in the frig? Im cookin here.
NandP: You way to slow for my stomach bap.
Baptizer: I stick this wooden spoon in your ass if your not outta that frigerator in three seconds.
NandP: HEY, I never signed up for anal rapage. Get away!
Baptizer: Get out, now!
NandP: Ok ok ok
Baptizer: Put those chips back. WTMFH!
NandP: Blow it out my ass!
Baptizer: Noooo, Blow it out my ass. Not yours!
NandP: I never knew.....
Baptizer: Knew what?
NandP: You were like that.
Baptizer: Like what?
NandP: Fruity.
Baptizer: Get the hell outta that frig!

NandP: MMmmmmm (crunch crunch crunch)
Baptizer: PUT THOSE BACK!
NandP: Im not eating that shit man.
Baptizer: Youll eat and like it!
NandP: Hey , these chips cause cancer.
Baptizer: Thats why you should eat this boiled lettuce.
NandP: Whats with the greens?
Baptizer: What do you mean?
NandP: Your always eating greens.
Baptizer: Im trying to stay healthy unlike you.
NandP: You wouldnt say that if you saw your face.
Baptizer: There you gooo again with the face shit.
NandP: Im tellin you. Its gross, but cool.
Baptizer: Gross but cool, wtf?
NandP: I wish I had a neon light for your face.
Baptizer: Thats it, we need to buy a mirror.
NandP: Im not buying a mirror. You can buy one.
Baptizer: Fine.

NandP: Just dont come crying to me when it breaks.
Baptizer: Go to hell!
NandP: Just kiddin bap, It looks cool. trust me.
Baptizer: I'll see tommorrow.
NandP: This garbage can kicks ass.
Baptizer: Whats so special about it?
NandP: Nothing really. Just how the bag flops over the edge.
Baptizer: Reminds me of a atomic explosion.
NandP: Reminds me of pussy lips. mmmmm.
Baptizer: Those are some old ass lips though.
NandP: These lips look like theyve been threw alot, yes sir indeed.
Baptizer: They sure do. Now shut up. Im eating.


	NandP: Ive about had it with your plastic remarks to me. Baptizer: For god sakes.... NandP: There you go again. Always up my shit. Baptizer: .............. NandP: I need some fresh air. Baptizer: .............................